I had to be on the active end of a friendship that died on the alter of Trump. It was very sad. It was hard for her to believe that I could not continue friendly association with a person who supported those values.
There are two parts for me. Anger and respect. At first, my difficulty was trying to sit at a table of friends and not have her be the focus of my rage over Trump's ascension. It was hard to be polite (that last refuge) knowing that she had chosen, despite my explanation of the meaning, to bring this horror into my life.
It was also hard to respect her and, for me, friendship, the real kind, hinges on respect. When I spoke to her, I thought, you stupid idiot. I thought, you really don't have the ability to care about mexicans or others in need. I thought, you're incapable of understanding the consequences to the environment. I thought, you are so self-involved that you would make this choice.
Other mutual friends (though they eventually have followed suit, albeit less decisively) were present at the final conversation and were shocked at my assertion that realizing that this woman had supported Trump was on a moral plane with finding out that a male friend had raped someone.
I explained, after she left the table, that finding out that a person had done such a would change the way I saw him forever, irrevocably. Knowing that under his (presumably pleasant) appearance was a person who could disregard the hurt and damage, who could disrespect decency, who had the ability to do such a thing, would make it so that I could never talk to the person without an internal dialog of rage.
And so it is with Trumpsters. I will, of course, be polite to her when others are around. I have seen this woman several times. I ask after her children and say 'glad to hear it' when she says her life is ok.
But here's there real reason I cannot be friends with Trumpsters.: I am not glad to hear they are ok. They have done terrible damage, with malice aforethought to our country and to the people in it, to the children who were ripped from their parents arms and put in concentration camps, to the environment, to the very fabric of society. I want them to suffer for
I am not glad to hear they are ok, I want them to suffer, and the fact that she, that Trumpsters, put me in a position to say and feel that, to be a person who says and feels that, is unforgivable.